回归坐卧行

有幸能参加这次禅修营，得缘于今年六月份朋友推荐参加了惟海法师线上禅修课程。在线上课程的学习过程中，理论知识我基本都听不懂，关于打坐的练习方法和我之前所学所接触的有一些根本性的不同，当时有点懵，但似乎又拨开云雾使我清晰看到内在一直存有的一些困惑点。

我练瑜伽有十多年，期间也做瑜伽老师，对于练习的动机与目标我一直很困惑———如果只是追求外在形体的雕塑、身体的柔软伸展与力量平衡、内心的松空静状态，这些于我们的生命和生活而言，有何助益？我会不会是活在外在的假名假相里？活在自己想象的世界中？我对自己的生活和生命状态并不清晰，于是也不断地学习着不同的课程，比如说脉轮课程、能量课程、冥想课程，也闭过黑关，有很多鲜明的甚至玄妙的感受性体验，但这些背后我总感觉不踏实，我不能确定它是意识层面有指向性的制造还是实相。学过苏菲禅，在练习过程中也会入定，但我没有清晰的路径，不知道如何使用这个“定”，后面就散掉了，或者落入到情绪情感层面。这十几年的学习体验经历，还是没有带给我内在的清晰和踏实感，总是在质疑自己与质疑世界的两端摇摆着。

六月份参加线上禅修课时，我虽然听不太懂，但心却莫名踏实下来了。记得老师第一次上课讲，“打坐不要闭着眼掉进黑窟窿里”，“我们禁止谈感受，谈松空静”，这些和我之前所学完全不同，我却莫名觉得实在落地。

这次参加京北禅修营学习，对于大乘禅法理论方面清晰了很多。可能是因为我放下了很多概念性思维，在打坐和经行的练习中，用身体直接去体验，再与思维结合，我体会到原理清晰、层次分明、严谨求是、不虚不空不散。

比如说经行，就是练习走路，但和日常走路又不同。在练习中，突然就意识到自己每天走路都是无意识的惯性使然，落脚随意，腿部被动，腰腹松垮，身体左右晃，心念乱飞；而经行首要就是提腰收腹（光一个“提腰收腹”，真真让人身心受益一辈子）髋带腿，落脚的位置、距离、力度在自然中有觉察和控制，与地面接触，再获得向上的反作用力，顺着足跟传递到脚踝膝盖髋部，然后双侧髋部互相制动，带动另一条腿前行。

在行走中，明显体验到精神是饱满的，意识是清明的，身体中轴有一股凝聚力，向下扎根的同时，也不失向上的延展，看似简单的动作，练习的深度和整体性都有，越走越清明，全身温热。打坐的练习有严谨的次第程序，每一步都有具体的实操性，有层次有预警，安全且有效。关于经行和打坐的具体细节在此我就不做分享了，重要的是每个人投入进去跟随练习，用心直接经验。总的来说，从身体到头脑到心，身体是主动的，精神是饱满的，意识是清明的，与周围外界是联结融合的。

这次学习，全程都在止语状态且无手机等电子设备。止语状态让我意识到日常大部分语言都是废话，不说更有益于自己和他人。如果我们没有提起觉观，无意识的说话和刷手机，真的会害人害己。禅修营期间规律饮食起居对我的帮助也很大，我以前吃饭虽然也是素食，但时间随意且挑食，经过这几天禅修练习，我现在到点就能感受到饿，认真做饭也认真吃饭，突然发现好好吃饭好好睡觉是基础之基础。以前空闲时习惯坐着躺着，比较散漫，现在身体自主就会在提腰收腹状态，精气神起来了，更想去经行或整理家务。

在瑜伽的练习和教学上，我也做了调整，着重于基础练习部分，在意识警醒的状态去练习，通过练习培养觉察觉观，静谧且不丢失心性活力，专注且不丢失身心整体性，引导语只说实际可操作性的，不妄语不妄念，实事求是。

结语：

    禅修营结束后，我也在继续跟随师父线上禅修营的学习，并将所学落地践行到每一餐饮食里，每一次坐立行走中，每一个工作上，牢记师父的教导：禅法，要修得上达自性以明圣道，下资生活事业以见力用，才是鲜活的、中正的、圆通的。感恩。

English:

Return to sitting, lying and walking in daily life

It was a great fortune to be able to attend this meditation retreat.  In June, a friend recommended Master Weihai’s online meditation course to me.  During the online course, I can hardly understand the theoretical knowledge. It was fundamentally different from the meditation methods I learned before. Although at that time, I was a bit daunted, somehow my inner confusions was clearly sawn like clouds fading away. 

I have been practicing yoga for more than ten years. I also had some experience as an yoga teacher.  I wasn’t very clear about the motivation and objective of the yoga practice. If it is only for attaining perfect body shape, super flexibility, peaceful spacious inner state, what is the benefit to our wellbeing and life? Am I living in the superficial illusory phenomena? Living in our imaginary world? I was vague about my being and life state, so I constantly seek to learn more courses, like charka course, energy course, meditation course, even I tried dark retreat. I experienced many vivid and metaphysical perceptions.  But still, I didn’t feel content and not sure if those experiences are made up by my oriented consciousness, or are they of the true reality.  I have also practiced Sufi meditation and am able to enter into samadhi. But I wasn’t clear about the procedure and attained Samadhi.  But I didn’t know the clear route to get Samadhi and how to use it. The experience faded away or fell into emotional  level. Over 10 years spiritual journey has not provided me with inner certainty and clarity. I  vacillate between doubting myself and the world.

During the June online meditation course, although I couldn’t understand it fully, I somehow felt established.  In the teaching, master said, “when practicing meditation, eyes should not be closed to avoid falling into black hole”, “we should forbid to talk about feeling, talk about relaxing, emptiness and peace”.  Those teachings are completely different from what I have learnt previously. I felt somehow grounded.  This time, after attending the Beijing meditation retreat, the Mahayana Shan theory has become much more clearer.  Maybe it is because I have unloaded a lot of conceptual thinking, during sitting and walking meditation, I use my body to have direct experience, then union with thinking, I experienced the clarity of the theory, clear procedures which are strict and rigorous. They are not ungraspable, not vague, and not scattered. 

For example, in walking meditation, it is just walking, but it is different from everyday walking.  During the practice, suddenly I realized my daily walking was unmindful, it was habitual action, the feet were put down randomly, leg part movement was passive, waist and abdomen were not controlled, body was not stable, thoughts were scattered.   The first key point in walking meditation is lift waist and holding abdomen,( just this instruction can benefit one’s body and mind for the entire life). Hips lift legs, feet putting down position, distance, strength are naturally under awareness and control.  Once the foot touches the floor, reverse action power transfer from foot to ankle, to the knee to the hip, then both hips are mutually activated, then the other leg are lifted to move forward.  

During the walk,  I  felt the spirit was vigorous. The consciousness was vivid,  the central axis of body has gathered strength.  It is both established underneath and extended upwards.  It seems a simple movement, the practice has depth and wholeness.  I felt more clarity while practice more. The warm feeling penetrates the whole body.  Sitting meditation has a strict step by step procedure. Every step has detailed practice guidance, it has levels and precautions.  It is safe and effectiv. I am not going to share the details of sitting and walking meditation here.  The most important thing is everyone is engaged in practicing to gain direct experience.   In nutshell, from body, mind to heart, body is active, spirit is energetic, consciousness is clear, they are all connected to the external world.  

During the retreat,  it is forbidden to use any electronic devises like mobile phones. And noble silence was kept all the way.  Silence helped me to realize most our daily conversation are useless. They can hardly benefit both ourselves and others.  If we lose awareness, unconscious talking and reading mobile phone, it is harmful to ourselves and others.  The daily routine during the retreat helped me a lot also.  Although I am a vegetarian, my routine is random and I am very picky on the food.  After the retreat, I feel hungry at specific time , attentively making food and eating food.  Suddenly I realized eat well and sleep well are the foundations of the foundations.  Previously when I get free time, I just laid down loosely.  Now the body is automatically in the lift waist and control stomach posture.  The energy is lifted up, I am keen to do more walking mediation or some house work.  In the practice and teaching yoga, I also made some adjustments. I focus more on foundation practice part and practice with vigilance. Through practice, we cultivate awareness.  Calm but remain vitality, focused but the body and mind remain wholeness.  The instructions are realistic and  practical. They are not false statements,  and not false thoughts. I only speak the truth. 

Conclusion: 

After the meditation retreat, I will continue to follow Master’s online meditation courses, and practice what I have learned in every meal,  every time I sit, stand, and walk, and  in work, I keep in mind Master’s words: The teaching of Shan: 

The goal of the practice is to self nature to gain understanding of the holy and saint way,  to utilize the power of the understanding in life and career. Then it is fresh, righteous and complete.  Grateful.